It rocks to date a feminist woman

Happy couples prove feminism can make a relationship better.

“Oh Sarah, the way you respect me enough not to question my masculinity when I display behavioral differences from a chimpanzee is so sexy. Swoon.”

Recently we explored the merits of feminist men, so I thought it only appropriate that I write a sister post about feminist ladies.

A few unfortunate horror stories about “feminazies” seem to have scared a lot of  men away from dating any women who identifies as a feminist. This really is a shame, not only because most of what circulates is pure poppycock spread by those desperately clinging to the last breath of patriarchy, but also because it could be scaring men away from some pretty kickass partners. So to combat some of those icky rumors floating around, let’s look at three reasons why feminists make awesome girlfriends/wives.

Feminists don’t have unhealthy expectations of masculinity. Gentlemen, unless you’re content to express the emotional range of a cucumber, you want to be with a feminist woman. As I’m sure you noticed growing up, sexism goes both ways, and men are under a lot of pressure to fit a very narrow definition of masculinity. By traditional standards, a “manly man” is not unlike a chimpanzee: he is aggressive, brutish, engages in only physical past times and solves all of his problems through violence.  Intellectual or artistic interests are completely out of the question, and eating something so dainty as a salad might as well be the eighth deadly sin if you’re a man– no, I’m serious. A very reliable source has informed me that men folk are ridiculed for eating salads. But luckily for you gentlemen, feminists don’t embrace sexism, no matter what gender it happens to be targeting. Besides, a woman who doesn’t want to be forced into certain roles because of her sex isn’t about to tell a man that he has to act like a caveman just because he has a penis. No, she’s more likely to let you be yourself, whether your favorite sport is football or chess… and she’s not going to call your sexuality or masculinity into question because you like to read. So if you aspire to emulate a chimp, by all means find yourself a nice sexist woman and enjoy your life a poo flinging. But otherwise, you might want to stick with feminists.

Feminists have a life outside of you. Be honest fellas. Unless you have some serious mommy issues, you really don’t want your partner’s life to revolve around you. You have your own hobbies and interests, and if you want to have the time to both maintain a relationship and those interests, you better find a girl who has her own stuff going on too. The problem is, a lot of non-feminist ladies feel the obligation to drop everything when they get a guy so they can wait on him hand and foot. Some might call that being an attentive and submissive girlfriend/wife, but I call that being a mother. No one wants to crawl into bed with mommy… well, at least I hope not. Feminists are more likely to have serious careers, as well as the social circles that accompany those careers. Do you know what that means, boys? It means she’s not going to be texting you when you’re out with the guys because she’s bored. Not having the pressure to spend every minute of the day together will make the time you do spend together that much more special.

Feminists are partners, not dependents. The number one thing I’ve never understood about “traditional” relationship roles is why they’re upheld when they seem to benefit no one. The woman is a victim because she’s treated like a child, but the man is a victim too because he has to be a parent…to his adult lover. That’s not only creepy, but incredibly inconvenient. Wouldn’t you want a partner who has an opinion and helps make decisions? Even being challenged occasionally– or all the time, as may be the case in some relationships (coughmine)– would be better than being with someone who just blindly follows your lead. A feminist is the ideal partner because she’ll fulfill her natural role as your equal partner, which will not only make your relationship healthier and more interesting, but it will make your lives more successful. Two brains working on an issue are better than one.

Regardless of gender, everyone wants to be the freedom to be themselves, and not be forced what others think they should be based off what parts they have downstairs. A problem that we as a society are becoming more and more are of is that men are under as much pressure as women are to conform to suffocating gender norms…and that’s why feminism exists. To remind people that they don’t have to be defined by their genitalia. Feminist women don’t expect men to act like brutish lower primates (indeed, many might actually be quite put off by that behavior), they don’t have the need to be clingy because they have full lives outside their partner, and they are truly a partner and a team mate, not someone you have to take care of and give direction. And that’s why it rocks to date a feminist.


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