Five reasons not to get married young

Holy Matrimony has a hefty price tag

1. Weddings are expensive. Fun fact: the average American wedding costs $25631. That’s a number that’s going to make your savings account want to drive a jacked up Ford, just so it can cope with its glaring inadequacy. That is, assuming that account hasn’t already been drained by college tuition, down payments, rent and all of those other little necessities like say… food and electricity. Do you really want to tack the price of a wedding onto all of that? And let’s face it, if you’re in your twenties–or, God forbid, even younger– and considering marriage, it’s probably because you’re going for the fairytale, which means you won’t be running off to elope. You want the whole shabang: ugly bridesmaids dresses, tuxedos, a gown you’ll never wear again and possibly even lice-ridden doves you can release at the “I dos.” You have your whole life to sink into inescapable debt.Pace yourself.

This clock is no longer your master, rejoice!

2. This is 2012; you don’t have to race the biological clock. Back in the day, if you wanted kids you had to have them before your fertility ran out, and you better have them early because you would probably die by your mid forties and you didn’t want to leave an orphan. But hey, this is the year 2012; unless you believe in the Mayan-predicted doom, you can rest easy knowing that you can have kids at age 35 and still have the energy to jump for joy when they finally move out. And with all the fertility treatment options, we’re not even restricted by our own bodies anymore. There’s no need to rush into marriage for the sake of having kids anymore; we’ve overcome our need to marry young and are all the better for it.

3. You don’t have to get married to have sex. Let’s not kid ourselves; the other reason folks used to get married young is because premarital sex was either a legal or social crime, so by age 20 they couldn’t take it anymore. But now, you don’t have to be in a relationship anymore, so do yourself a favor and don’t confuse sex with love, or love with the need to be immediately married, for that matter. There is no special privilege to be unlocked by holy matrimony, so why rush into it?

As you grow up, you may grow apart, and that’s fine. It’s better to find that out before getting married.

4. You need time to grow. Just because you’re grown up physically doesn’t mean the rest of you has caught up to your height yet. By your early twenties, your brain is not yet even fully developed. You’re just now squirming your way out from under you parents’ protective wing and beginning to discover who you are as an adult. In short, who you are now is not necessarily who you’ll be five or ten years down the line… so is it really fair to promise yourself to someone when the current “you” had an expiration date? Perhaps you and your partner will grow in the same direction, but perhaps not. Why risk it?

5. Divorce is also expensive. What happens if all that debt, stress and growing in separate directions happens to drive a wedge between you and your beloved? Then it’s time to get a divorce. Which is also expensive. And probably painful for both parties. While needing a divorce is never something you should be ashamed of, the ultimate goal when you get marries is to not have to get one. So why not give your marriage the fighting chance it deserves and wait until you’re older, until you can be certain your lives are really compatible? A breakup is a lot less hassle than a divorce.

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